Guys and our Goodbyes

image from google

image from google

G is for Goodbyes

I’m not really sure, but I think girls have a different interpretation of goodbyes or rather not saying goodbyes with how guys do it.

For us guys it doesn’t matter if you say bye, see you, asta la vista baby or just pumping our fist while we walk the other way in slow motion or just plain evaporate out of sight. But girls, get all formal and nice, reciting the whole thank you, see you later, let’s catch up soon, kiss kiss hug hug routine.

It’s not that guys are rude; we are just genetically and socially imbued to show our feelings less, with a hint of emotional clumsiness to say goodbyes unlike how girls do it. We do care; we just have a different way of showing it. Saying catch you later while holding back tears and punching a door to feel manly, counts as one.

A fist bump means a good job! A complicated hand shake routine will tell how strong the bond is between the two. A high five is more casual gesture of greeting and goodbye. And a brother bear hug is just letting loose a cannon of emotions.

May it be long or short, familial or romantic, short good bye or indefinite or the worse, permanent goodbye, we dread for it. I’m not qualified to speak for all the guys even if it is possible, (I don’t know if someone is qualified for that) but I can say for myself that, it’s difficult to utter the simple word, maybe that’s why we or I opt to say see ya or catch you later. The premise of a goodbye in my mind seems final and falling in that final separation with not having a safety net to catch you would be painful.

But is the cause of all this drama because it seems to be irrevocable. Of course there is something lying much deeper. Saying goodbye is like saying I love you, (there I said it) you can’t have one and deny the other. Avoiding it like the plague at all cost seems a viable idea.  Avoiding pain feels like a good choice, but avoiding it is fruitless.

In the real life, goodbye is a major part. We love the people we get to know, we love the little things we get to enjoy but people grow, things change and time does not stop. A cycle we all are familiar with. We’ll eventually say goodbye to everything we love, it will come appealing in time. But for now we still hold tight to our protective gear, not letting go until we learn the pain is not only suffering but it can also have love. Not until we understand the beauty of overcoming the fear of inevitable pain has its own magnificence.

Life is full of goodbyes; does that mean it is full of love also? I wish it was.

I have said goodbye to people I thought who’ll be always there, to the promised forever and many times to sugary sweets, but still I come back for more. There is no shame in loving; there is just a matter breaking down the walls people keep stacking, and picking up the pieces when they say goodbye.



  1. I’m sorry this post didn’t get more traffic!

    It was very thoughtful and well-presented, though as a woman, I have to say I’m more in line with your thoughts… it’s ridiculously hard for me to say goodbye easily, so sometimes I just hang around awkwardly until the person makes a run for it. 😛 I don’t kiss or hug people when I say goodbye unless I really won’t be seeing them for a long time (like several years).

    Great post!

    Alex Hurst, fantasy author in Japan, participating in Blogging A-Z April Challenge.

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