N is for No
Getting past the hurdle of saying Yes to everything is the first major step to say NO! For most people ailed with the disease YEStitis, the only NO they would say is, “no problem”.
Often saying yes even not knowing what you agreed to do is reckless, and is problematic when it become as an automatic response. Helping people is good but helping to please people is a different notion all on its own.
I know, the feeling of being relied on, being important and having worth, gives the feel of being high with an inflated ego. And people crave that feeling subconsciously. Who wouldn’t want to be popular or being be tagged as cool and nice. But there is an underlying problem that accumulates along the line of every Yes you say to every request. Some examples of these are:
- Possible substandard quality of work
- People relying on you to do their job
- Can’t do your job efficiently
- Stress with extra workload
- Getting a reputation of being sociable but not effective
You need to choose if you want to be Reliable and Responsible or Nice and Gullible.For saying Yes always you will come off to people as amicable. But being a real friend does not connote doing the job of others. As the saying goes, giving a man fish will feed him only for a day but teaching a man to fish will feed him for a lifetime.
Of course like any disease or addiction, you can’t get better all of a sudden. Baby steps are the way to go.
- Learn to discriminate what to say Yes to.
- Catalog each request with urgency and how big the favor is. Do it in your spare time.
- Prioritize YOU, give time and importance to yourself.
Respect the word YES and No. The responsibilities that accompany these words should be honored as also the person that said it. If you think about it it’s funny that these little words separate things to possible and impossible.